Thursday, May 28
failed bio test by 1mark. if i didnt put that stupid s in the spindle fibres, cos its suppose to be spindle fibre, i would have passed!!! dang it.
tmr got gp test. die. gg.
all thanks to 三姐 i'm addicted to guitar geek in facebook. dang.
stupid bones season 2 episode 4 won't load properly, so i can only watch the front part.. and the suspense is killing me!!!
pat crashed h2 chem lecture today.& started drawing me and fy.. so now she drawing all five of us (including herself), and possibly the two 姐夫s too. haha.
celebrated mom's bday.. super fun. woke up super early and "crashed" into her room to sing her happy birthday, with guitar, cake and all. =D then surprised her at dinner when we turned up. cos we told her we cant eat out with her cos we got test the next day.. haha. n she thought tat was the end of her surprises. we complied lots of notes from her family, friends,s'pore and overseas (as far as nepal and beijing).. and she was like "WOW" haha. =D
lao si nvr come today. but got back the compo i finally handed in to her yesterday. she good. go use the words i use in my compo to shoot me. xP
hopefully the bones video is working properly now. if not i think i'll just go play a bit more guitar geek and go sleep.
dang gp tmr.
Tuesday, May 26
i like to complain a lot.. but most of the time (but not all) i'm complaining for the sake of complaining and not bcos i really mean what i say when i'm complaining. for example, june event. it's gonna take up practically my whole june and literally my whole last week of june.. and i'm just backstage doing mic-up cos they need a gal to mic-up the actresses, so i cant be behind the board. BUT, though wat i just said are facts, i still wouldnt change anything. given the choice, i'll still choose to be part of this event, even knowing the commitment and my role..
another example would be chinese. one of the most common subject i usually complain about. i say i hate chinese, but in truth, i kinda like it. i like the language, the subjects, the teachers.. etc. but i do NOT like studying it. tat's wat makes the difference. so chinese is like ALL my other subjects:i like learning, i hate studying. most teachers know i very guai, and they wonder why i nvr seem to do my work. cos what they dun know is i'm guai in practically every area but doing homework. so its not that i'm bias against chinese (though its true i think most other subjects are more important). but then, i cant blame the teachers for not knowing..
but you! of all ppl, u shld know me the best! seems like u dun.i like (maybe even love) chinese. i really do. but tt doesnt mean doing chinese would be any easier for me! esp when i'm writing. u compared writing eng essay with writing chinese ones.. dun u know tt how the brain produce ideas for stories for eng is diff frm how it produces the same for chinese?? there is no way i can ever translate ANY of my eng essay (no matter how "easy" they are) to a chinese one!! there're just different. the standard produced is different. yes, though both originate from the basic idea, but how the story builds up from there is different. cos for one thing, i can express myself in eng but not in chinese. and for another, i so totally hate writing stupid lousy compos! i take pride in my writing. if i find the work i produce unsatisfactory, i wont hand it in. tat's not the case only for chinese. i owe my eng teacher countless essays (last time) and finally wrote one. but when i re-read it. though the story was ok.. but then, it was just ok! it was waaaaayy lower than the usual standard i wrote then, so NO WAY was i going to hand it in! i didnt even let my best friend glance at it! another problem is i dont like writing on a question tat i've read ppl's ans about. cos i have a very super high tendency of rmbing wat they wrote, and (1)it hinders my mind from producing my own ideas, (2)i would just "copy" and "paste" their ideas into my compo.... stories stay in my head for a long time.. and they can only be erased by time.. by lots and lots of time..... u say u understand wats it like to have to write a compo when u've no ideas.. i dun think u know whats it like for me when i have to write a compo and i have no ideas..
sure, i'll write tat dang compo one fine day. but i will not be able to acknowledge it as one of my works.
i apologise to all chinese teachers who taught me/are teaching me for giving u all a hard time.. (not tat any of them reads this blog..) but ya.
so ppl. dun say things about me, about my personality, about my character, when u don't even know me. one thing i can NOT stand is when ppl think they know me when they don't, and start bossing me aroud and telling me wat i should do, and wat i should not do. u got a problem with me? tell me. but DON'T lecture me. u have to know ur subject b4 u can lecture about it.
so ya. just take this post as me venting some of my frustrations and feelings out. i dont tend to reveal myself like this often. and just take a note--i complain a lot. tats a fact. =)
Thursday, May 7
finally editted my PI and send to bernand wong. but i think the official dateline over liao.. so dunno why he still wants me to send to him...
anyways. today recurrence test GG. die like super duper die. its like bio test. easy but cannot do. but the reason is different. bio is bcos nvr study. recurrence is bcos dun understand a single thing about the dang chapter! >< so gg lor.
super long time no ava duty liao.. like 4 weeks already?!? xP
today release of ava exco results. I'm in exco!!!!! YEAH!!! hahas. but not in the position i want.. sort of. didnt really want a particular position.. but VP and QM was wat i had in mind.. now i'm PRO-Public Relations Officer.. xP but there might be some changes cos alicia got double post.... *shrugs* so long as they dun make me secretary i happy liao. =)
feel betrayed lar. YL and i make a pact. i vote her for welfare she vote me for VP. found out she nvr vote me for VP... >=( i guess tat just means tat joannas is really a lot better than me... =( oh well.. CONGRATS JOANNAS!! i believe u'll do better than me. =)
thinking of joining red cross... have been wanting to join another cca for a long time liao.. and keep thinking of red cross.. if still can join i'll probably go join.
in the end, i decide to go for the china trip. and i'm like the only one in my class going. =( but it might be canceled (my speculation) cos of swine flu and the lack of ppl going... oh well. its all in God's will now. if I'm meant to go. well, everything will fall in place. if not, some how or another the trip will be canceled.
still dunno wats my role in the june event and when's the rehearsal dates.. there's only like 5weeks left i think..? til the actual concert... haiz.
miss the choir. miss my performing life... but then, the problem is now, i'm scared of the stage again.... xP haiz.
should be sleeping..
SHIT. just rmb i havent handed in bio prac. die. ><
Tuesday, May 5
went to church early yesterday to do some pw b4 cell. everyone was like "eh! u bring ur laptop to church! let me see!" lol. quite expected, esp since only one other guy i know brings laptop to church (not counting the leaders)
cell was really small.. though we have the biggest cell in z2, sunday, we also have the lowest attendance.=( only the regulars like me, pheobe, chloe, chris, josie and jer always turn up, though jeremy nvr turn up ytd.. then out of the 3 muskateers, only 2 turn up, but they only came for cell. nvr go for service, cos they got pw. gwen nvr come at all, also cos of pw. X/ i'm like "cant u schedule ur pw meeting at a later time?! its like if u have a competition u will make sure it wont clash right? so why cant u do the same for God?" i guess diff ppl, diff perspective.. but even so... haiz. havent seen gwen for a long time liao... at least pearlyn came. she havent come for super long ever since she was grounded. it was nice to have her back. =)
cell learned more about TAWG. sensitive area for me. considering i'm not doing it regularly.. like since forever.. haiz.
service was great. P. Janice preached. powerful msg. how to have a breakthrough life. sounds grammatically wrong but *shrugs*. identified with the msg.. but struggled to respond.. respond means i want something to be done, which means i need to do something, and i usually dun seem to do wat i know i should do.... haiz. so didnt want to respond even though i know i fit in tat category... but she just kept calling out to the ppl in the category.. like she was calling for me to respond. the need to respond was so great. so i responded. after tat, she moved on to the next category. it really felt like she was just waiting fr me to respond b4 she moved on...
i so need a breakthrough in some many areas.. in my life, studies, serving, ministry, personal tawg........ just have to surrender. make the effort to run back to Him. stop wasting time. stop running away. stop putting things off. just run back to the Father!
went out with janice for lunch. saded the usual gang disappeared. al and gerald nvr come. fab also.miranda n jon cant make it. asaph disappeared. glo going home... so ya. but had a good time of sharing with janice. went to zhi cha, but we both no money. so we share one plate of hor fun. let her eat 1st. but stare at her eat so weird. so talked a lot lor. lols. talked about sch, subject combi, random funny stuff... ya. n she ate like 2/3 of the whole plate!lol. but i wasnt hungry anyway. n sometimes she dun eat, so let her eat more is good for her. xP
then my turn to eat her turn to talk. 1st thing tat came out was relationship! >< lols. she's been like trying to guess who's the guys i like every since like 1 or 2 yrs liao!! haiz. but made her share about hers since i was eating. xP shared some about our past "relationship" life. not tat we had ever been in a relationship b4.. (she's 3yrs younger, and already have more crushes than me!! xP and her 1st crush was long way b4 mine! O_O) then she try to guess which guy i like.. haha. told her she guaranteed plus chop cannot guess one! lol. if she can guess i have to treat her a meal.. but lucky the deal was only for tat day until 3pm. cos after tat i gotta go. so she just kept guessing random guys lor. lols. guess everyone she knows tat i know. haha. gave her some minor clues to help her. but she still cannot guess.
spent the rest of the time in hans, while she continued to guess. lols. she even took my phone to check all the guys i have in my phone cos i told her i got the guys no inside. she was like quoting ever guy in my phone! haha. but still cannot guess. lol. then she ask a very crucial question tat if i answered yes (which was the ans to her qn) she sure can guess one, bcos the no of ppl in tat category is super limited, and the no of guys i'm close to inside tat is even less. was considering whethr to answer her or not. but cos it was 2.59... so oh well. told her the answer. then she immediately rattled off two names b4 i told her that its 3. so time's up. i cant let her guess liao. so now i'm not obligated to tell her whether she guessed correctly or not. but the 1st guy she said was one of them. xP but NO WAY am i going to say who it is man.have to protect myself and the guy. cant imagine wat wld happen if ppl know i like him.... my sis knows. but she's ok. we exchange secrets.. and i know she wont tell. but any other ppl besides her... sry. its not tat i dun trust u.. its just... if the guy ever finds out i'm so dead. and ppl wont imagine us togethr. its just not possible. its all just imagination on my part..
have to stop allowing ppl to guess who i like. glo tried for i dunno how long nvr got close. janice stuck home to close for comfort. seriously nvr imagined she wld think of tat qn! it nvr occured to any1 b4! but she promised not to tell any1 wat little she know. so tats gd. but still. i have to be more careful now.
had pw after tat. >< gpp... research... lessons learnt... >< went to pat's couz house to continue after our lappy's batt ran low. had dinner there. some burmese rice salad thing.. not really my kind of food.. finished at like 10pm? ya.went home super late. but at least its done. except for linus part-SOP..
today... nthing much eventful really happened.gp teacher nvr come. so did chem assignment, tried studying for reccurrence, too tired, slept the rest of the 1.5hr. stupid thing is did finish the chem assignment, forgot to put in his pigeon hole! >< stupid. haiz.
pe was fun. played handball. hahas. in the end the score was quite even. but since no one kept score so we not sure. but i think my grp won by a bit. was sort of quite even out lar. cos tat grp got yuxun(super tall) and they had one more player than us. but we got shao hua, n he super gd. so ya. the other team also got the japanese exchange student. she plays gd. but reminds me of certain ppl i cant stand playing games with in amkss.. shall not say more.
met mom at novena and ate ban mian for dinner. burn my tongue. >< had guitar lessons. she go buy another guitar. now i think i have at least 5 or 6 guitars at home liao.. plus an organ, plus piano, plus the soon gonna come the electric guit. lols. all we need is a drum set and bass and can set up our own mini band liao. i,bro,sis,mom play guit, bro going for e guit, sis going for piano, i sing, and i oh so wanna go for piano,bass, e guit, and drums lesson. in short, i wanna learn and play any and every instrument i can lay my hands on. xP
but guitar lesson was great. love the coach. great at teaching, plus many info to share. for once he ended early today. (before 10) but we ask one qn and he started sharing a lot of stuff... until like 10.20, 10.25 then we ended cos a boy needed to go home cos its like real late liao.. but the stuff he shared.. very worrying in some sense, thought-provoking. really change my mindset about tat country.all the stuff tat ppl dun usually see... and the msg is so urgent and important.. but not everyone wants to know and wants this msg to be shared... but now i'm curious and want to know more.. but no time to do my own research.. haiz. mayb next time.
jorene wont be going for the china trip liao. cos of the risk of the swine flu. =( should i still go? or not? still not confirmed whether tat dates got june event rehearsal or not.. but supposingly dun have for now.. think i'll still go lar. at least still got yuan lin.
then ava the results will be revealed on wed.. >< super worried and nervous. so wanna be in exco.. so wanna b VP.. haiz. and i still dunno wats my role in june event. hoping and praying tat broZC wld miraculously find another girl to take over the crucial role they need me to do so i can be released to do other stuff.. (esp behind the sound booth!). i'm not against working backstage or mic-ing the actresses.. but i only have a limited amt of time left to serve in IGNYTE. and there's only so many events in a yr. and for most events (any which have drama/actresses) i have to do mic-up. there' so little chances left for me to try other stuff. and this is a major mega huge event. and i so wanna do more besides just mic-ing up.
oops. super late liao. shldnt be blogging til so late. but too much stuff tat i need to share. 'else they'll occupy my mind and cause much-irritating distractions...
k.going off liao. adios.
Thanks to all the blogs i referred to (countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
Adobe Photoshop Elements for supernatural abilities
