Tuesday, May 26
i like to complain a lot.. but most of the time (but not all) i'm complaining for the sake of complaining and not bcos i really mean what i say when i'm complaining. for example, june event. it's gonna take up practically my whole june and literally my whole last week of june.. and i'm just backstage doing mic-up cos they need a gal to mic-up the actresses, so i cant be behind the board. BUT, though wat i just said are facts, i still wouldnt change anything. given the choice, i'll still choose to be part of this event, even knowing the commitment and my role..
another example would be chinese. one of the most common subject i usually complain about. i say i hate chinese, but in truth, i kinda like it. i like the language, the subjects, the teachers.. etc. but i do NOT like studying it. tat's wat makes the difference. so chinese is like ALL my other subjects:i like learning, i hate studying. most teachers know i very guai, and they wonder why i nvr seem to do my work. cos what they dun know is i'm guai in practically every area but doing homework. so its not that i'm bias against chinese (though its true i think most other subjects are more important). but then, i cant blame the teachers for not knowing..
but you! of all ppl, u shld know me the best! seems like u dun.i like (maybe even love) chinese. i really do. but tt doesnt mean doing chinese would be any easier for me! esp when i'm writing. u compared writing eng essay with writing chinese ones.. dun u know tt how the brain produce ideas for stories for eng is diff frm how it produces the same for chinese?? there is no way i can ever translate ANY of my eng essay (no matter how "easy" they are) to a chinese one!! there're just different. the standard produced is different. yes, though both originate from the basic idea, but how the story builds up from there is different. cos for one thing, i can express myself in eng but not in chinese. and for another, i so totally hate writing stupid lousy compos! i take pride in my writing. if i find the work i produce unsatisfactory, i wont hand it in. tat's not the case only for chinese. i owe my eng teacher countless essays (last time) and finally wrote one. but when i re-read it. though the story was ok.. but then, it was just ok! it was waaaaayy lower than the usual standard i wrote then, so NO WAY was i going to hand it in! i didnt even let my best friend glance at it! another problem is i dont like writing on a question tat i've read ppl's ans about. cos i have a very super high tendency of rmbing wat they wrote, and (1)it hinders my mind from producing my own ideas, (2)i would just "copy" and "paste" their ideas into my compo.... stories stay in my head for a long time.. and they can only be erased by time.. by lots and lots of time..... u say u understand wats it like to have to write a compo when u've no ideas.. i dun think u know whats it like for me when i have to write a compo and i have no ideas..
sure, i'll write tat dang compo one fine day. but i will not be able to acknowledge it as one of my works.
i apologise to all chinese teachers who taught me/are teaching me for giving u all a hard time.. (not tat any of them reads this blog..) but ya.
so ppl. dun say things about me, about my personality, about my character, when u don't even know me. one thing i can NOT stand is when ppl think they know me when they don't, and start bossing me aroud and telling me wat i should do, and wat i should not do. u got a problem with me? tell me. but DON'T lecture me. u have to know ur subject b4 u can lecture about it.
so ya. just take this post as me venting some of my frustrations and feelings out. i dont tend to reveal myself like this often. and just take a note--i complain a lot. tats a fact. =)
Thanks to all the blogs i referred to (countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
Adobe Photoshop Elements for supernatural abilities
